I knew what he wanted and talking about 'old times' had nothing to do with it. He figured he would get a few drinks in me and maneuver me into a motel room or a back seat and it just wasn't going to happen. I was perfectly happy with Ben even if his cheap ways did occasionally piss me off.Then Matt called me and asked me to go on a trip with him. Not just any old trip, but a seven-day trip on a cruise ship. Talk about mixed emotions. I was facing a week in a tent fifty miles from home and Matt offers me a seven-day cruise. I could actually go some place that wasn't within spitting distance of the house. Matt knew from my hesitation that I was thinking about it, but that my answer was going to be no and he hurriedly went on, "It's a no strings attached offer babe. There are three other couples going and the way it is set up is that all the girls will share two cabins and the guys will share the other two. The girl who was supposed to go with me cancelled and I can't get a refund on. As his tongue pushed against my lips, part of me felt intense anxiety and disgrace, my first time making out wasn't with a girl either, that chance was permanently sealed shut. I got through it by keeping myself horny thinking this was what my future would be like if I wanted a relationship: I'd be kissing guys, and guys often had facial hair, sometimes lots of it, so I'd better learn to like it. I had no idea if I was doing things well as I returned the favor, French kissing him, his whiskers lightly puncturing my skin, small little pricks. He had seemed to like my enthusiasm very much, squeezing into my butt cheeks. My arms were limp at first, but eventually found their way to his abs, trying to steady myself. For the next little bit he just kept kissing me, on the flips, on my neck, feeling me up. Where my previous partners were anonymous, it suddenly struck me that any of them could've been gay, but they could've been bi as well, or just looking for a hole to get off in, and took.
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